Free AI Website MakerWelcome to some behind-the-scenes information that will enable you, as an adult reading Frilly with a child, help young readers get the most out of the Frilly Analogy. Through this analogy we show children that, when humans are scared, they often show the three key behaviours of the cute little Frill-necked Lizard when it’s scared – which is most of the time.
In relating the scary behaviours of themselves, other children and even adults to the behaviour of a rather ridiculous little lizard, we enable the child to see them in a new, less threatening, perspective.
We suggest you explore some of this only after the child has made a connection with Frilly and is reading the book for the second or third time. Take it gradually. Avoid getting carried away and trying to explore too much too soon!
Frilly is small and defenceless. If the child hasn't seen a live frilled-neck lizard, explore examples from your everyday life to illustrate just how small Frilly is. Perhaps you have a kitten, a guinea pig – or a dog that Frilly could walk right underneath. Maybe there's a baby in the house and Frilly's even smaller than that!
Storytelling offers a comfortable way for children to explore emotions like fear. You can engage the child by asking them to consider what might frighten Frilly and then encourage them to share some of their own fears.
It's important to remember that talking about tough feelings can be challenging. If your child has trouble pinpointing things that scare them, you can reassure them by saying that it's normal to feel afraid sometimes, even for adults.
Scared of everything: The adjacent page shows real-world examples of something that might appear scary to a child. By all means discuss others.
For example, you can share some of your own age-appropriate fears or have your child’s favourite plush toy ‘tell a story’ about being afraid.
Hide: You might like to ask the child to think of good places for Frilly to hide. Consider places in the outback where Frilly lives, as well as places where Frilly might hide in your home. Would Frilly be good at playing hide and seek?
Relate Frilly's hiding places to the adjacent images of children hiding. Point out that, like Frilly, children need to be really quiet when they hide.
Bluff (pretend): Perhaps ask the child why Frilly might be pretending to be big and scary? Relate the actions to the children on the opposite page in the book and share the idea of pretending – some people pretend to be big, loud, and scary when it's really they themselves who are scared.
Hint: This is a good point to google Funny Frill-necked Lizard Videos and see if your child can work out why the Frilly is charging the camera.
You can invite your child to pretend to be Frilly trying to be big and angry, and pretend along with them, with your hands on your hips, standing on your tiptoes, and putting out your frill! Then ask them if the frilly behaviour reminds them of anyone they know. Relate it to the adjacent page.
Safe place: You might like to ask your child where Frilly went to feel safe. Do they think there might be other safe places for a lizard in the outback? Where would they tell Frilly to go?
Relating Frilly’s actions to the child on the opposite page, explore where the child feels most comfortable and safe. You might like to talk about the idea of people being a safe place and, with the child, identify as many trusted adults as possible who represent safety. Give them assurances that one of those adults will always be there for them, when needed. Encourage them to tell one of those people when they feel scared.
Silly Frilly: This and the adjacent page are opportunities to have more fun with the child, recalling simple events that appeared to be scary but actually weren't.
Examples might be a fear of shadows that turned out to be harmless; noises in the night that were only the family pet; seeing a mouse; thinking a smudge on the wall was a spider. Talk about how Frilly might have responded to these events and how he might have felt when he realised there wasn't any danger.
Relate his reactions to those of the children on the adjacent page.
This is another opportunity to reinforce safety messages, assess the child's wellbeing and whether there is something they have reason to find fearful.
Belinda’s Special Power
For this and the next two stories we show frilly behaviour in a “real world” context that is easy for the child to understand. Frilly becomes the child's friend, guiding them how to manage difficult situations.
Belinda has the special power to see frills growing on children’s necks as they exhibit Frilly Behaviours. This puts her in a difficult position, as nobody else can see what she does.
How would your child feel if they had this power? Would it be easy to spot children behaving like Frillies? Are there any children in their class who show the behaviours shown in the pictures?
Why is Ms Honey scared? Is she worried there’s something wrong with Belinda. Imagine how scared a teacher might feel having a little girl in her class who thinks the children are growing frills.
Why is Belinda’s frill also rising? Would your child be scared if they suddenly found a lizard on their shoulder? And a lizard that talks too!
Do they have somebody in their class that everybody wants to be friends with? How would they feel if they wanted to be somebody’s friend and the person didn’t reciprocate? Can your child see how easily jealousy can turn to bullying, like when Tim tells everybody Sally has nits.
See how Frilly is helping Belinda do the right thing. What does your child think Belinda should do? Is it really, really brave of her to come to Sally’s rescue? Imagine how good it would feel to help somebody who’s being bullied, rather than joining the bullies. Or put themselves in Sally’s situation and imagine how good it would be to have a friend come to your rescue.
Would your child like to have Belinda’s Special power? Let them know that we all have the power to see when we or somebody else is behaving like a Frilly, even if we can’t see an actual frill growing.
Who should they speak to if they’re worried about themselves or somebody else being bullied (parent, teacher, mentor, school counsellor, doctor, psychologist). Explain that they don’t have to tackle these problems on their own. There’s always somebody who can help.
Brad’s Big Bluff
This story deals with pretending to be big and angry (what we call bluffing). Ask your child to imagine Frilly charging towards them, frill up, mouth open. Would they be scared? (this is a good time to google some Frill-necked Lizard behaviours)
You can engage the child by asking them to consider what might frighten Frilly and cause a charge like this, with the frill up. Then encourage them to share some of their own fears.
Has your child seen this behaviour among their friends? Or even some adults? Do they think their friend might be scared of something and not really angry at all? Explain about fears sometimes being more imagined than real and how Frilly’s big bluff behaviour is designed to hide fears and that is exactly what Brad is doing. What do they think Brad is afraid of?
Ask your child what other things might make adults or other children angry – and what is it that they’re really afraid of?
Are adults really angry when they shout at you to stay off the road, or to come down from a tree – or are they simply scared you’re going to get hurt?
What about Brad. Is he angry because he’s having difficulty in class and is afraid people will laugh at him? Or perhaps he is scared nobody will be his friend.
Are there children in your child’s class who seem to be angry all the time? What does your child think it is that they might be scared of?
Would your child like to have somebody to help show them that people like Brad aren’t really scary at all, just afraid.
Then turn the conversation around. Has your child ever pretended to be angry when they know they’ve done something naughty and are just scared of being found out?
Explore where your child sits in the classroom. Are they afraid of being asked questions?
Are there some children who get ALL the questions right. How does this make your child feel.
Does it make them scared of answering questions in case they get them wrong? If so, assure them that this is perfectly normal. Lots of people are afraid of talking in front of the whole class – or of not knowing the answer when asked a question. What does your child think?
Who would your child go to for advice if they were scared of somebody like Brad. Does their school have a counsellor. Or do they feel their teacher could help.
Is Shani being very brave, deciding to help Ms Honey deal with the scary Brad?
Isn’t Ms Honey clever involving Shani in helping show Brad how to solve his problems? Has your child ever had somebody help them understand some of their schoolwork? Have they ever helped somebody else understand the work? Explore how good it made them feel when their friend understood and got the answers right.
Explain how sometimes a child is the best person to help a friend with schoolwork because they’ve just learned how to do it themselves.
Do you think Brad was expecting Shani to be nice after he’d been trying to scare her with his big bluff?
Has it stopped Brad from being angry?
Explain how a few kind words can often make anger disappear, especially when it’s just a big bluff anyway.
How does your child think Shani feels knowing she’s helping Brad understand maths? Do they think it makes her feel good? And what about Brad? Do they think he will be happier in class tomorrow, knowing he will be able to answer the teacher’s questions?
Could Shani’s kindness make Brad love maths like she does? What if he loves maths so much that he becomes a maths teacher, or a scientist, or designs a space ship that goes to Mars? Can your child imagine how proud Shani would be because it was her who got him started!
No need to hide
This book shows how Frilly’s hide behaviour is mimicked by Benji. Explain to your child that there are lots of different ways to hide – behind other children at the back of the class, under the desk, behind a tree etc. Ask the child to think of places they can hide, at home or at school.
Is your child good at sport? Are they first choice when their friends are picking a team?
If they’re popular and get picked early, ask them to imagine how Benji feels when nobody wants him on their side. How can Benji get better at soccer if they never give him a chance?
Does your child sometimes feel like Benji?
Or are there other children in the class who seem to be afraid of everything?
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if they could overcome their fears? Discuss with your child ways to help other children overcome their fears. They could help them understand the schoolwork, practice kicking and catching a ball. What other ways could they help? (being their friend, helping with homework, teaching them a musical instrument etc etc)
Would your child like to become good at their chosen sport or something else? Explain about giving people a chance to learn, accepting help from others and practicing, whether it be with a football or a musical instrument, until everyone is amazed at how good they are.
What do they think of Benji doubting Frilly and looking fearfully at the soccer ball coming their way until Frill magically freezes everybody to take time out and teach Billy how to play soccer.
Does your child think they could be like Frilly. Perhaps they can’t freeze all the soccer players, but how about quietly encouraging somebody to give it a go and showing them how? What do they think makes somebody good at a sport or anything else? Does practice help? A friend to play with? Or even a coach?
How does your child think Benji feels after everyone wants him on their team? Aren’t they glad Frilly persuaded Benji to give soccer a try and gave him the opportunity to learn and practice?
Why has Frilly taken Benji’s seat in the classroom? What does your child think will happen next? How difficult does your child think it was for Benji to move to the front of the classroom?
Did your child know the answer to the teacher’s question? Imagine how happy Benji must be that Frilly made him sit at the front of the classroom – and that he knew the right answer.
But what about Raj and Susan? They didn’t know the right answer but nobody thinks less of them for trying! Explain to your child that it doesn’t matter being asked a question that you don’t know the answer to. It’s the best way to learn. And perhaps “having a go” isn’t so scary after all.
Is Benji surprised that he got the answer right? Do you think he knows the answer to lots of questions the teacher asks – but was just afraid he might be wrong so didn’t put his hand up?
Does your child wish they had a friend like Frilly to help them overcome their fears? Perhaps they could be the person who helps somebody else overcome their fears and join in the classroom activities or the playground games and sports?
Ask your child to imagine Benji growing up to play for the Socceroos in the World Cup (or substitute your child’s favourite sporting achievement, perhaps playing in an Ashes cricket test, winning an Olympic swimming or athletics Gold etc) – and it was your child who set them on the road to this achievement. Would it make them proud?
Important information.
If anything your child says makes you aware of problems you don't feel comfortable addressing please seek professional help – in the form of a child psychologist, school counsellor or other specialist in child behaviour.
A final note
Some families (and even some workplaces) have found the concept of "Frilly Speak" really useful. Terms like How's your Frilly going – or You look like you're doing a Frilly, can really put things in perspective and be a lot of fun. Give it a try at home!
And don't forget to Google funny frilled-neck lizard videos with the child. Kids and adults alike just love their antics and it's a great time to relate these back to the messages in the book.
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